Wednesday, May 8, 2019
Faith in Dust: Detour
Faith in Dust: Detour: Have you ever been driving down the freeway enjoying the sunshine, maybe your favorite song is on the radio, and then traffic starts to slow...
Detour
Have you ever been driving down the freeway enjoying the sunshine, maybe your favorite song is on the radio, and then traffic starts to slow down? The next thing you know you have come to a complete standstill and your traffic app is telling you to take a detour, but you can't decide if you would rather sit in the traffic or take a chance on the detour. You are safe on the freeway. You know the way and you aren't in that big of a hurry to get where you are going, but you know the detour is the smart move and you do have obligations at your destination.
You decide to be listen to the traffic app and take the detour, only to find the way it's taking you is difficult and stressful. You are stressed to the max now. Anxiety level is at its highest and panic mode is getting ready to set in because now you are in unfamiliar territory. After what seems like forever you reach your destination. As you share the details of your journey, you reflect on the emotions you experienced on this detour, yet suddenly you start to see the beauty that surrounded you during the detour that you didn't see as you were driving through it.
Sound more familiar than you would like to admit? We encounter detours in our lives more times than we are comfortable with, but do we sit still where we are comfortable or do we take the detour? The detour is unknown and could be quite stressful, yet the detour can have beauty too.
When we are obedient to God we tend to encounter detours in our lives that help us to grow and be refined, but we must be willing to take them in order to grow. I experienced a recent detour and I can say without a doubt it was one of the most difficult detours I have had in a while, but one of the most rewarding. When we are walking through a detour it usually means we didn't choose this path in our lives.
Google defines a detour as a long or roundabout route that is taken to avoid something or to visit somewhere along the way. My detour seems like a long route and it was truly taken to avoid something painful, but God had other intentions:) He used my detour to help refine me and remove my insecurities and self-doubt. I didn't even realize these impurities existed because I was avoiding the detour at all cost.
I sit back now and smile at how God maneuvered my detour. I went willingly but didn't realize it was a detour until I was smack in the middle of it. Yet through the process, I was able to self-reflect and spend countless hours talking to God about what He needed me to see. I was stressed beyond belief, felt some days were too difficult to bear and felt anxiety closing in on me. Day after day God revealed Himself in the scripture, devotions, sermons, and my prayer warriors. I stumbled many days, doubted His plan was the best, and honestly wanted to turn around and go back to where I was before the detour entered my life. That was NOT God's plan and he patiently waited on me to listen to Him.
I sat at a women's gathering recently listening to our speaker tell us to concentrate on now, not what we fully don't know about now, but just concentrate on now. Another words, don't question everything, just live in the moment. We have to praise God in the middle of our brokenness and then we witness the power of God when we are in the valley. God is not waiting in our strength, He's waiting on our surrender. I learned I had to surrender and stand firm in Him, not in my knowledge, but trusting His. I learned we can't go back because then we make things worse.
Detours usually aren't planned and even when they are the process isn't always easy, pretty, or admirable, yet when we step back and reflect on the view we realize the lessons were priceless. Just like the Bible speaks of the process of refining gold, God uses detours to refine us just like the gold. The process is difficult and painful but the impurities are skimmed off and we are purer in Him.
Don't avoid the detour, it might just be God's way of helping you skim off more impurities:) Praying for you my friend. Don't give up on God and don't think he's left you stranded on the side of the road. He is driving:) Just sit back and let Him guide you on the path. I promise the difficulty and pain will be worth it if you trust in Him one day you will know the full story.
"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." 1 Corinthians 13:12 NIV
You decide to be listen to the traffic app and take the detour, only to find the way it's taking you is difficult and stressful. You are stressed to the max now. Anxiety level is at its highest and panic mode is getting ready to set in because now you are in unfamiliar territory. After what seems like forever you reach your destination. As you share the details of your journey, you reflect on the emotions you experienced on this detour, yet suddenly you start to see the beauty that surrounded you during the detour that you didn't see as you were driving through it.
Sound more familiar than you would like to admit? We encounter detours in our lives more times than we are comfortable with, but do we sit still where we are comfortable or do we take the detour? The detour is unknown and could be quite stressful, yet the detour can have beauty too.
When we are obedient to God we tend to encounter detours in our lives that help us to grow and be refined, but we must be willing to take them in order to grow. I experienced a recent detour and I can say without a doubt it was one of the most difficult detours I have had in a while, but one of the most rewarding. When we are walking through a detour it usually means we didn't choose this path in our lives.
Google defines a detour as a long or roundabout route that is taken to avoid something or to visit somewhere along the way. My detour seems like a long route and it was truly taken to avoid something painful, but God had other intentions:) He used my detour to help refine me and remove my insecurities and self-doubt. I didn't even realize these impurities existed because I was avoiding the detour at all cost.
I sit back now and smile at how God maneuvered my detour. I went willingly but didn't realize it was a detour until I was smack in the middle of it. Yet through the process, I was able to self-reflect and spend countless hours talking to God about what He needed me to see. I was stressed beyond belief, felt some days were too difficult to bear and felt anxiety closing in on me. Day after day God revealed Himself in the scripture, devotions, sermons, and my prayer warriors. I stumbled many days, doubted His plan was the best, and honestly wanted to turn around and go back to where I was before the detour entered my life. That was NOT God's plan and he patiently waited on me to listen to Him.
I sat at a women's gathering recently listening to our speaker tell us to concentrate on now, not what we fully don't know about now, but just concentrate on now. Another words, don't question everything, just live in the moment. We have to praise God in the middle of our brokenness and then we witness the power of God when we are in the valley. God is not waiting in our strength, He's waiting on our surrender. I learned I had to surrender and stand firm in Him, not in my knowledge, but trusting His. I learned we can't go back because then we make things worse.
Detours usually aren't planned and even when they are the process isn't always easy, pretty, or admirable, yet when we step back and reflect on the view we realize the lessons were priceless. Just like the Bible speaks of the process of refining gold, God uses detours to refine us just like the gold. The process is difficult and painful but the impurities are skimmed off and we are purer in Him.
Don't avoid the detour, it might just be God's way of helping you skim off more impurities:) Praying for you my friend. Don't give up on God and don't think he's left you stranded on the side of the road. He is driving:) Just sit back and let Him guide you on the path. I promise the difficulty and pain will be worth it if you trust in Him one day you will know the full story.
"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." 1 Corinthians 13:12 NIV
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
Faith or Fear?
Can we have faith, yet fear? Can we trust God, yet fear life? Can we be obedient in Christ, yet still fear? I have struggled with all of these questions and probably a hundred more in the past few weeks. Why am I fearful? What am I fearful of? Why? What? How? Questions, then answers, yet no peace in sight. I KNOW God has a plan for my life, but why am I so fearful? Isaiah 41:10 says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
I have laid awake at night begging God to help me with these questions. I have dug into His word. I have listened to sermons, read devotions and Bible Studies, and prayed without ceasing. I am mentally and physically exhausted, but I know my God is with me. He is carrying me through this storm, and I am snuggling into Him and trusting Him. No one loves fear, no one embraces fear, but we all experience it. Joshua 1:9 says, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Fear is of the devil!! Yet, as humans, we give in to those voices, the enemy! I know I'm not alone out there. I have heard many of you voice your fears, post them on social media. You know the ones, right? You aren't good enough. You will never escape your past. You don't deserve happiness. You aren't pretty enough, skinny enough, rich enough, happy enough, have the best job, best house, best life. The list of fears and insecurities could go on and on forever because we place all these pressures on ourselves, allow our own insecurities to overcome us, and try to compare ourselves to others. Why? Why can't we just believe we are good enough and our past is our past, and we DO deserve happiness!!? We ARE beautiful! Our bodies are perfect in God's eyes! God provides for our needs! We can be happy! We can have the best life!
Guess what? If any of the things aren't the way we want them to be its OUR job to make them wonderful!! We can't sit around, compare, and sulk then expect things to change. Change is NEVER easy, but in order to grow, we MUST change. We must press in and be patient and listen to God. When we are prompted to move, we must be obedient and move. Ugh, I say that and know God is prompting me for more change and my flesh side just wants to go hide and cower, but my spiritual side knows the change will make me stronger and more equipped to serve Him.
I am by no means an expert on this topic, but I do feel like I should be. I think part of the process is learning and being a willing student. I am not perfect, but when someone asks me how I push through I have one word, God. I DON'T push through, He carries me, but I am willing and obedient to His will, no matter how painful or heartbreaking. I know His plan for me is much greater than mine. We can choose to cower, give into the enemy, live a life of flesh or we can stand tall, dive into His word, and tell the enemy to GET LOST!! We all have choices!!
Will you choose fear or faith? I know I choose faith every time and I will fight through fear with scripture and Godly people surrounding me and encouraging me! I pray you will do the same. My friend the walk can be brutal at times, but oh the outcome! I can feel the peace when I let myself feel the love God has for me. I become giddy! When I allow His love to pour over me I remember fear is a big fat liar and faith in the foundation that will give me peace and joy. We are all works in progress, but what beauty we gain when we are willing to walk through the fires to become more like Him.
I would love for you to leave a comment. I would love to pray for you! The comments section has been a pain. I pray I will receive what you send but know either way I am praying blessings of faith and no fear on each and every one of you!
I have laid awake at night begging God to help me with these questions. I have dug into His word. I have listened to sermons, read devotions and Bible Studies, and prayed without ceasing. I am mentally and physically exhausted, but I know my God is with me. He is carrying me through this storm, and I am snuggling into Him and trusting Him. No one loves fear, no one embraces fear, but we all experience it. Joshua 1:9 says, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Fear is of the devil!! Yet, as humans, we give in to those voices, the enemy! I know I'm not alone out there. I have heard many of you voice your fears, post them on social media. You know the ones, right? You aren't good enough. You will never escape your past. You don't deserve happiness. You aren't pretty enough, skinny enough, rich enough, happy enough, have the best job, best house, best life. The list of fears and insecurities could go on and on forever because we place all these pressures on ourselves, allow our own insecurities to overcome us, and try to compare ourselves to others. Why? Why can't we just believe we are good enough and our past is our past, and we DO deserve happiness!!? We ARE beautiful! Our bodies are perfect in God's eyes! God provides for our needs! We can be happy! We can have the best life!
Guess what? If any of the things aren't the way we want them to be its OUR job to make them wonderful!! We can't sit around, compare, and sulk then expect things to change. Change is NEVER easy, but in order to grow, we MUST change. We must press in and be patient and listen to God. When we are prompted to move, we must be obedient and move. Ugh, I say that and know God is prompting me for more change and my flesh side just wants to go hide and cower, but my spiritual side knows the change will make me stronger and more equipped to serve Him.
I am by no means an expert on this topic, but I do feel like I should be. I think part of the process is learning and being a willing student. I am not perfect, but when someone asks me how I push through I have one word, God. I DON'T push through, He carries me, but I am willing and obedient to His will, no matter how painful or heartbreaking. I know His plan for me is much greater than mine. We can choose to cower, give into the enemy, live a life of flesh or we can stand tall, dive into His word, and tell the enemy to GET LOST!! We all have choices!!
Will you choose fear or faith? I know I choose faith every time and I will fight through fear with scripture and Godly people surrounding me and encouraging me! I pray you will do the same. My friend the walk can be brutal at times, but oh the outcome! I can feel the peace when I let myself feel the love God has for me. I become giddy! When I allow His love to pour over me I remember fear is a big fat liar and faith in the foundation that will give me peace and joy. We are all works in progress, but what beauty we gain when we are willing to walk through the fires to become more like Him.
I would love for you to leave a comment. I would love to pray for you! The comments section has been a pain. I pray I will receive what you send but know either way I am praying blessings of faith and no fear on each and every one of you!
Sunday, April 14, 2019
Let Go and Let God!
*Not the post I intended to write today, but it's what God placed on my heart:) Praying if you are doubting or hurting today you will turn to God's word and trust Him! Let Go and Let God!
My Facebook post was only the beginning:)
Are you like me and often question God? I am the expert of this and not proud of it! Why do I doubt? Why do I often question His will and if it's the best for me? Why do I step in and try to take control? Because I AM HUMAN!! Those imperfections I talked about day one, they exist in ALL of us. Trouble is many of us don't take the time to self reflect and listen to God. Or in my case, I take the time and listen, but still question or take control. We don't trust Him completely and the enemy LOVES when he can find an open window to crawl through.
I have always been a take charge kind of girl. I was told if you want something done do it yourself. I'm not one to sit around and wait on others to do it for me. That can be a positive trait, but a taxing trait. Sometimes it is good to delegate or depend on others, but through life circumstances I allowed my mindset to be altered. I went from doing to surviving. Honestly, neither of these are good alone. We need balance. With maturity in our faith comes the balance. We should be able to rely on others, but we should never rely so much upon others that we feel so defeated our only purpose is to survive. We MUST trust God, but be able to trust ourselves and others too. When humans break our trust or we fail we find ourselves not trusting, sometimes we don't even trust God. We must remember God can ALWAYS be trusted, but we have to get out of the way to allow the trust to take place (speaking directly to myself right here:)). Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." We don't have to understand we just have to trust. Boy, that is harder than it sounds!!
God can use our life experiences to guide us and help us grow, but we have to be alert and willing learners. (One I tend to trip on too often.) I get scared and stop trusting. I ask questions, lose focus. Each time I think I am standing on solid ground some slip up reminds me my foundation isn't as solid as it needs be. This is when we must re-evaluate and dig deeper into God's word and trust Him to guide us.
Since I have been prompted to begin this blog God has placed people in my life that have shared their personal journeys with me. If you think your struggles are like no one else's let me remind you that is NOT the case. The enemy wants you to think your failure, your defeat, your secret is like no one else's. He wants you to believe you are alone and cannot trust anymore. IT"S A LIE!!!! I have a tribe of Godly people I know I can count on to pray for me and not be so quick to advise me. My advice is to get a Godly tribe, but don't make your tribe too large because truth gets confused with chaos (BTW social media is NOT the tribe I am talking about) Share your fears and burdens and ask for prayer! Don't be afraid to ask for prayer! Be specific and more than anything pray for God's will not your own!
In my time with God this morning I read something Beth More said in her study "Breaking Free" that resonated with me: "Like Peter on the mount of transfiguration, we're so caught up in the tabernacles we want to build that we sometimes miss a fresh revelation of God's glory right before our eyes." She went on to talk about sin leading to death or obedience leading to righteousness. I had to ask myself, "Am I concentrating so much on building something beautiful that I am missing the beauty found right in front of me?" "Am I sinning or being obedient?" Trust God and know that no matter your past or current circumstances He loves you and wants to guide you EVERY STEP of the way!
Comment below that you trusting God in your life or share a story or ask for prayer. We are one family in Christ!
My Facebook post was only the beginning:)
Sitting here this morning soaking up God’s word and in awe of His love for me! So often I jump ahead of Him, take charge, try to reason or control my circumstances. Anyone who knows me is not surprised by that piece of information😜. But today I’m reminded again of letting go and letting God be in charge. Trust, a difficult action for me!
If you are struggling with trust like me, just know God loves us more than we can imagine. It’s hard to trust because most of the time when we are trusting Him humans are involved in the mix. It’s hard to find the balance, but there’s something to Be still and know I’m God. I’m not always embracing my dust but I’m working on trusting Him to make it beautiful! I know His will for me is so much more beautiful than anything I could will for me. Today I’ll regroup and Let Go and Let God:))
Are you like me and often question God? I am the expert of this and not proud of it! Why do I doubt? Why do I often question His will and if it's the best for me? Why do I step in and try to take control? Because I AM HUMAN!! Those imperfections I talked about day one, they exist in ALL of us. Trouble is many of us don't take the time to self reflect and listen to God. Or in my case, I take the time and listen, but still question or take control. We don't trust Him completely and the enemy LOVES when he can find an open window to crawl through.
I have always been a take charge kind of girl. I was told if you want something done do it yourself. I'm not one to sit around and wait on others to do it for me. That can be a positive trait, but a taxing trait. Sometimes it is good to delegate or depend on others, but through life circumstances I allowed my mindset to be altered. I went from doing to surviving. Honestly, neither of these are good alone. We need balance. With maturity in our faith comes the balance. We should be able to rely on others, but we should never rely so much upon others that we feel so defeated our only purpose is to survive. We MUST trust God, but be able to trust ourselves and others too. When humans break our trust or we fail we find ourselves not trusting, sometimes we don't even trust God. We must remember God can ALWAYS be trusted, but we have to get out of the way to allow the trust to take place (speaking directly to myself right here:)). Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." We don't have to understand we just have to trust. Boy, that is harder than it sounds!!
God can use our life experiences to guide us and help us grow, but we have to be alert and willing learners. (One I tend to trip on too often.) I get scared and stop trusting. I ask questions, lose focus. Each time I think I am standing on solid ground some slip up reminds me my foundation isn't as solid as it needs be. This is when we must re-evaluate and dig deeper into God's word and trust Him to guide us.
Since I have been prompted to begin this blog God has placed people in my life that have shared their personal journeys with me. If you think your struggles are like no one else's let me remind you that is NOT the case. The enemy wants you to think your failure, your defeat, your secret is like no one else's. He wants you to believe you are alone and cannot trust anymore. IT"S A LIE!!!! I have a tribe of Godly people I know I can count on to pray for me and not be so quick to advise me. My advice is to get a Godly tribe, but don't make your tribe too large because truth gets confused with chaos (BTW social media is NOT the tribe I am talking about) Share your fears and burdens and ask for prayer! Don't be afraid to ask for prayer! Be specific and more than anything pray for God's will not your own!
In my time with God this morning I read something Beth More said in her study "Breaking Free" that resonated with me: "Like Peter on the mount of transfiguration, we're so caught up in the tabernacles we want to build that we sometimes miss a fresh revelation of God's glory right before our eyes." She went on to talk about sin leading to death or obedience leading to righteousness. I had to ask myself, "Am I concentrating so much on building something beautiful that I am missing the beauty found right in front of me?" "Am I sinning or being obedient?" Trust God and know that no matter your past or current circumstances He loves you and wants to guide you EVERY STEP of the way!
Comment below that you trusting God in your life or share a story or ask for prayer. We are one family in Christ!
Monday, April 1, 2019
Financial Fiasco Part 2
I had every intention of posting yesterday, but the enemy had other plans and I gave into the insecurities and self-doubt planted in my head. I allowed it. I even nurtured it and babied it! When you are getting closer to God the enemy presses in harder. He will try to take any happiness you have just to tear you down. Last night and this morning I prayed even harder, pressed in closer to Him, spent time this morning listening to an amazing sermon from Rick Warren from his Unshakable series, and listened to a very important person in my life. Thank the Lord the enemy is defeated once more:) The devil may try to get me down, but he will NEVER win!!
It is humbling how God places people in your life at exact moments for His purpose. This morning I learned of a precious person feeling completely defeated because of financial fiascos. This person is much older than me. Financial Fiascos do not target specific ages! I have never had more clarity in the purpose of these posts than today. (The enemy may have tried to stop me yesterday, but God had a purpose for today.)
You see financial fiascos are temporary. They don't define me or you. Oh they will try and I have fallen into the trap of thinking there is no way out, but I know with God all things are possible!
I sit here in the sun by the pool at the beach house we rent each year writing this. (I am sure many will think, aren't you in debt? How are you paying for a beach vacation? Shouldn't you be using that money to pay down your debt?) Well yes, I am in debt, I paid cash (from my tax return) for the house, and I could pay down my debt with the money, but I have a VERY different outlook on debt and getting out of debt than most. AND I won't apologize for it either!
You see my dad worked 6 days a week for more than 35 years to make our dreams come true. My mom always wanted a beach house. They were one step away from acquiring that dream and she was diagnosed with cancer again and lived 3 weeks. I learned at that very moment you are not promised tomorrow. The very weekend she passed we were supposed to be heading to the beach to see this house she wanted. My Jackson was 4 weeks old. She had bought him his first beach trip book from Pottery Barn for us to record his trip. That trip never happened.
Fast forward one year and dad was diagnosed with cancer. His surgery was successful and his chemo cured him. Then 2010 comes around and I was diagnosed with cancer. My babies were in Kindergarten and 4th grade. I KNOW what living each day to the fullest is ALL about!! Yes I want out of debt and I have goals, but I also want memories. If I die today, my debt is paid off immediately with life insurance, but guess what if I live every second of everyday stressing over my debt, not living, but only working to eliminate it, what have I gained? No debt, miserable life, and NO memories! My family memories are what gets me through days I miss my mom so bad I can't breathe. Memories I have made with my kids reassure me I am ok and living.
No matter what, if it's God's will and I am a good steward of His gifts He will help me accomplish my goals. I explained to a co-worker last week my thoughts. If I work 6 plus days a week and go or do nothing extra I will be debt free sooner, but at whose expense. My kids didn't sign up for our situation and I will not take away our memories because I didn't live the way I should have the past 4 years. I am a very frugal person by nature now. I have been for many years. I fell off that wagon, but I know how to get back up and try to fix it. Will it be easy? NO! Will there be days when I think I am going to drown? YES! But With God ALL Things ARE Possible! I will hold onto that truth and live my life to the fullest, making beautiful memories EVERY step of the way.
My McCall will be graduating this year. This season of our life is near completion and a new season is beginning. I won't have this week with her again for a VERY long time, if ever. I will cherish every memory. Praying time slows down just for a week:)
I am NOT saying or promoting to live like crazy, spend freely, and worry about the consequences later!! Live frugal, know when a memory is more important than a debt, and pay cash!
Sunday, March 24, 2019
Financial Fiascos
Have you ever just felt God push you? I mean literally, I feel like a scared little girl about to go out on stage in front of 100,000 people and tell my most embarrassing secret all the while saying, "No! I can't do this!" As God is behind me pushing me and saying, "Yes you can, remember I am right beside you." I have tried every way in the world to get out of this post. I have even had 10 other ideas of a post I should make:) God doesn't like my sense of humor I assure you. I can feel His convictions. As nervous as I am of admitting my biggest shortcoming I know this set of posts will be the ones that many people will be able to relate to on various levels.
I would love to say I have never had financial fiascos until my divorce, but that would be a lie, denial on my end. I lived a VERY blessed childhood. I don't regret a second of it, nor do I blame anyone for my shortcomings, but I will say there is something to teaching your child financial responsibility no matter how difficult they make your life. I was given much as a child and young adult, all out of great love. The only problem was when I became an adult on my own I had no idea what a budget meant or how to live within my means. My 20s was not some of my best years financially, but after hard lessons, I went into my 30s completely debt free. I took Crown Financial and Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace class and learned how to finally budget and live within my means.
Then life happened and well as the saying goes, I fell off the wagon! Big Time!! The past 4 years I have lived in a tunnel; I believe that would be the word for my state of being, but I have lived life to the fullest, made some amazing memories with my kids, and accumulated plenty of debt. When things finally came to a head last summer and I realized my life would never be what it once was and no amount of going, spending, or denial would change that. I practiced adulting (yes it's hard to adult sometimes:)) and went to a counselor. I needed to admit my shortcomings and get advice.
My counselor is amazing! Can I just say everyone should have someone neutral to talk to! I have learned SO much about me in the past 10 months. The one thing I have learned in this entire process is to accept your mistakes and then set realistic goals to correct the mistakes. I knew my process wouldn't be an easy one and I had to hit rock bottom before I could rise up and re-build. November was my flat on your face, can't breathe month. I honestly thought there was no recovery from my bad decisions. It took me 6 months to get up the nerve to even add up my debt! I was that scared of facing reality!! My counselor was very patient with me and gave me baby steps each month to get me to where I needed to be.
Then an amazing thing happened!! My next session we discussed how to accept my mistakes, take responsibility for them and correct them. Not making excuses, but accepting it. I couldn't continue to live in my tunnel and I had to get my act together! It has been one of the most painful and beautiful processes I have ever encountered. Mostly because for the first time in my life I am depending on God and my faithfulness in Him to take each step. No bailing out! Oh, I can't say I didn't ask and the best gift my dad ever gave me was the answer no. The crazy thing was before I even had an answer God spoke to me that day. (Yes call me crazy, but I have conversations with God often.) He asked me did I trust Him. I said yes of course I do and He said your dad isn't going to help you, but I will be here with you every step of the way. I knew my head was saying this is too much for me, but my heart was saying God is going before you. Y'all my daddy has never told me no when I have really needed something, so I really thought I was not hearing God right. (Can I just say the pain on my dad's face when he told me no was enough to break my heart. He was heartbroken to say I had to do this on my own.) The peace I had was CRAZY and when dad started talking I was completely calm, no fear because I knew this time I had to figure out my crazy mess myself. Don't get me wrong, my dad came back later to say he would do whatever he could to guide me, but right now I knew I needed to lean on God.
This journey won't end soon, my realistic goal is by the age of 50 I will be debt free. I am praying it will be sooner with hard work and discipline. The amazing thing is I will be completely debt free at the age of 50!
I post this to say, we ALL have our fiascos! Mine is finances. Yours may be financial or maybe alcohol, drugs, pornography, etc. You are not alone and you don't need to feel alone. We are in this life to build each other up and pray for one another. I don't have all the answers, but you better believe my tribe includes a dear friend who rocks Financial Peace and she keeps me in check. You may not feel led to share your story on a blog, but share your story. You will be amazed at the blessing and freedom you will receive. I know the more I share of this journey the more healing I will experience.
This was in my reading today and I thought it was a perfect verse for this post:)
I would love to say I have never had financial fiascos until my divorce, but that would be a lie, denial on my end. I lived a VERY blessed childhood. I don't regret a second of it, nor do I blame anyone for my shortcomings, but I will say there is something to teaching your child financial responsibility no matter how difficult they make your life. I was given much as a child and young adult, all out of great love. The only problem was when I became an adult on my own I had no idea what a budget meant or how to live within my means. My 20s was not some of my best years financially, but after hard lessons, I went into my 30s completely debt free. I took Crown Financial and Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace class and learned how to finally budget and live within my means.
Then life happened and well as the saying goes, I fell off the wagon! Big Time!! The past 4 years I have lived in a tunnel; I believe that would be the word for my state of being, but I have lived life to the fullest, made some amazing memories with my kids, and accumulated plenty of debt. When things finally came to a head last summer and I realized my life would never be what it once was and no amount of going, spending, or denial would change that. I practiced adulting (yes it's hard to adult sometimes:)) and went to a counselor. I needed to admit my shortcomings and get advice.
My counselor is amazing! Can I just say everyone should have someone neutral to talk to! I have learned SO much about me in the past 10 months. The one thing I have learned in this entire process is to accept your mistakes and then set realistic goals to correct the mistakes. I knew my process wouldn't be an easy one and I had to hit rock bottom before I could rise up and re-build. November was my flat on your face, can't breathe month. I honestly thought there was no recovery from my bad decisions. It took me 6 months to get up the nerve to even add up my debt! I was that scared of facing reality!! My counselor was very patient with me and gave me baby steps each month to get me to where I needed to be.
Then an amazing thing happened!! My next session we discussed how to accept my mistakes, take responsibility for them and correct them. Not making excuses, but accepting it. I couldn't continue to live in my tunnel and I had to get my act together! It has been one of the most painful and beautiful processes I have ever encountered. Mostly because for the first time in my life I am depending on God and my faithfulness in Him to take each step. No bailing out! Oh, I can't say I didn't ask and the best gift my dad ever gave me was the answer no. The crazy thing was before I even had an answer God spoke to me that day. (Yes call me crazy, but I have conversations with God often.) He asked me did I trust Him. I said yes of course I do and He said your dad isn't going to help you, but I will be here with you every step of the way. I knew my head was saying this is too much for me, but my heart was saying God is going before you. Y'all my daddy has never told me no when I have really needed something, so I really thought I was not hearing God right. (Can I just say the pain on my dad's face when he told me no was enough to break my heart. He was heartbroken to say I had to do this on my own.) The peace I had was CRAZY and when dad started talking I was completely calm, no fear because I knew this time I had to figure out my crazy mess myself. Don't get me wrong, my dad came back later to say he would do whatever he could to guide me, but right now I knew I needed to lean on God.
This journey won't end soon, my realistic goal is by the age of 50 I will be debt free. I am praying it will be sooner with hard work and discipline. The amazing thing is I will be completely debt free at the age of 50!
I post this to say, we ALL have our fiascos! Mine is finances. Yours may be financial or maybe alcohol, drugs, pornography, etc. You are not alone and you don't need to feel alone. We are in this life to build each other up and pray for one another. I don't have all the answers, but you better believe my tribe includes a dear friend who rocks Financial Peace and she keeps me in check. You may not feel led to share your story on a blog, but share your story. You will be amazed at the blessing and freedom you will receive. I know the more I share of this journey the more healing I will experience.
This was in my reading today and I thought it was a perfect verse for this post:)
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 New International Version (NIV)
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Sunday, March 10, 2019
Imperfections Galore!
We all have them, imperfections that is, and we all tend to concentrate more on them than the beauty we have been given. I was prompted to create this blog in December. I have prayed about it for months now. Each time getting a knot in my stomach at the prospect of sharing my imperfections with others.
God, I can't do this! What will I say? How will I put my faults out there for others to read? How can my imperfections help others? I don't have the words. I am not capable. You name it and I came up with the excuse.
God has sent numerous people, devotions, sermons, and scriptures in my life the past 2 1/2 months to push me in this direction. Yes, I tend to be a little hard headed! My counselor (if you don't have one you need one) put it in black and white for me a few weeks ago. He said, "Is this your blog or God's blog?" Wow!! Was I again making this about me? Yes, I was! Then this past Thursday a sweet friend came up to me on a field trip with tears in her eyes telling me how a post I had written on Facebook was exactly what she needed at the exact time she read it. A tear slid down my face because I knew I was not being obedient to God's will in my life. My imperfections had helped her. If only I could get past me and to Him I knew this blog would happen.
I am me, full of imperfections, shortcomings, and disappointments, but to Him, I am worthy, beautiful, and His. He doesn't see them as imperfections at all. Wow, what a relief! I can only pray each post will brighten your day, make you feel worthy of your calling on this beautiful planet we call Earth, but most of all I pray you will feel His love rain down on you.
Yes, we all have imperfections galore, but we can choose to hide them or allow God to use them, find the beauty in them. I invite you to gladly allow Him to use them to bring others to Him! May your imperfections shine for His glory!
God, I can't do this! What will I say? How will I put my faults out there for others to read? How can my imperfections help others? I don't have the words. I am not capable. You name it and I came up with the excuse.
God has sent numerous people, devotions, sermons, and scriptures in my life the past 2 1/2 months to push me in this direction. Yes, I tend to be a little hard headed! My counselor (if you don't have one you need one) put it in black and white for me a few weeks ago. He said, "Is this your blog or God's blog?" Wow!! Was I again making this about me? Yes, I was! Then this past Thursday a sweet friend came up to me on a field trip with tears in her eyes telling me how a post I had written on Facebook was exactly what she needed at the exact time she read it. A tear slid down my face because I knew I was not being obedient to God's will in my life. My imperfections had helped her. If only I could get past me and to Him I knew this blog would happen.
I am me, full of imperfections, shortcomings, and disappointments, but to Him, I am worthy, beautiful, and His. He doesn't see them as imperfections at all. Wow, what a relief! I can only pray each post will brighten your day, make you feel worthy of your calling on this beautiful planet we call Earth, but most of all I pray you will feel His love rain down on you.
Yes, we all have imperfections galore, but we can choose to hide them or allow God to use them, find the beauty in them. I invite you to gladly allow Him to use them to bring others to Him! May your imperfections shine for His glory!
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